MOM SIMULATOR 2016: NOW WITH VALLEY DEMO!

[Csonicgo]

NOTE: Thanks to all that tried to download. I got 50+ requests overnight. Whoops! I fixed those permissions. Try again. Valley Simulator is in the download section. You cannot load both simulators...yet.



It's 1:30. You're ecstatic that last period band practice was cancelled, giving you the excuse to ride with your best friend Jake (who just got his license and a sweet convertible) and get on the computer before your sister claims it first to look at boy band pictures. Yuch! Vaulting over the passenger door in front of the driveway, you run across the yard to the front door, open it with reckless abandon, and you slam your tuchus into the computer chair, then fire up DOOM.EXE... before realizing Mom got home before you did. Uh-oh.


"Aren't you supposed to be in school, young man?"

WELCOME TO HELL MOM SIMULATOR 2016

Wait... What?



DO YOU FIND YOURSELF ALONE? DO YOU MISS YOUR MOTHER'S CONSTANT NAGGING WHILE PLAYING DOOM, EVEN IF SHE WAS ANNOYING, TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE AND THAT SOMEONE ONCE LOVED YOU? HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR MOM SIMULATOR 2016, THE REVOLUTIONARY SOUND MOD FOR THE ULTIMATE NOSTALGIC EXPERIENCE. JUST SIMPLY LOAD IT IN THE COMMAND LINE WITH YOUR USUAL DETERGENT, THROW IN YOUR FAVORITE MODS, AND FIRE IT UP. IT'S JUST THAT EASY.


What does it do?

With this wonderful nugget in your command line, you too can experience the thrill of your nagging mother from your childhood! You should call her more often, by the way, she's worried sick about you!

Simply put, this mod simulates a maternal unit. Mom is wondering why you're still playing video games and not eating her "award-winning" meatloaf. She will come by periodically to tell you that you still exist on Earth along with the rest of us poor working saps, and to leave that front door open - she's not running the A/C when it's 72 degrees outside!

Features:

• Thirteen clips from an authentic mother of three in Brooklyn!*
• Using the Nag-O-Meter(tm), customize the frequency of Mom's nagging from a gentle reminder to a full-on "GET YOUR HOMEWORK DONE" assault!
• Custom haptic support through the "Computer chair nudges" option!
• Ability to load your own custom Mom sounds!
• It's not just for Mom - additional modes and environments available, such as "Dorm Room mode", and "High School '94 in the Valley"!

*Actually just me screaming into a mic like an idiot

Choice quotes:

• "Leave the door OPEN!"
• "What, are you glued to the chair?"
• "Don't you have homework to do?"
• "That noise is driving me crazy!"

ADDITIONAL MODES!

• Dorm Room Mode: You're out of high school, and in college, with its own share of annoyances. Enjoy random door slams, stamping of sock feet a floor above, muffled giggling, idiots running down the hallway screaming "GO STATE!", and more! As a bonus: Activate prank mode for the ultimate experience! Can you play Doom through a piercing fire alarm set off by a drunk freshman? Let's find out!
• High School '94 in the Valley: Didn't have a nagging mom, but a nagging everyone else? Don't you worry, we got you covered. This preset includes your snot-nosed brother banging on your bedroom door, your girlfriend having a conversation with the answering machine, and your best buddy calling to remind you to get that term paper done - it's all here! DEMO NOW AVAILABLE!

Where can I play this already?

Yeah, about that. Here's where everything deflates, huh? This exists -- just that Only Mom exists Right now and she can't be controlled. (Valley demo now available for fun and games)

So you need help, huh moocher?


In short, yes. I have little knowledge in setting up the menu system required to do what I want.

Good news, the audio clips are DONE, save for the fire alarm, various sounds for dorm room mode, and maybe a few more things. Finding/creating sounds will not be a problem.

If this sounds like the worst idea you've ever f*cking heard of - or the best idea you've ever f*cking heard of - you're welcome to help out in any way possible. I will be putting this project on GitHub so you know I'm not blowin' smoke here. Hell, I may figure this out on my own sooner or later, but I have confidence that this can be made a reality. I'm already halfway there, anyway.

VIDEO!!



DOWNLOAD??

YES! it's happening! GET IT HERE! (0.01a)
(Click the little down arrow on the top right of the page)

EDIT: If Google fucked up, here: https://ufile.io/b5f29 Blame the G guy.

Here is the Valley Edition: HERE. This will be compiled (eventually) into Mom Simulator.

Changelog:
(0.01b): 11/15/16: Valley edition. Nothing else changed.
(0.01a): 11/15/16: First revision. No other features other than Mom for now.

Thanks to:

• #doom-wiki where the idea first spawned
• #doomtwid for further idea bouncing
• #ZDoom, for putting up with me
• TerminusEst13 for EVERYTHING
• Ling who said this was "very convincing"
• Bloodshedder, who said this was "stupid"
• Michael B. Schwartz, who came up with the idea of an immersive "Mom mode". He created the "Valley" sounds, once forever lost to obscurity, until now.

[Nash]

Steam Greenlight and Kickstarter when?

[Big C]

I want whatever drugs this thread is taking.

[Marcaek]

[RaveYard]

Wouldn't a simple looping script playing a random ambient sound every 30 to 350 ticks do?

[Csonicgo]

Wouldn't a simple looping script playing a random ambient sound every 30 to 350 ticks do?

I suppose that would work. IIRC, sounds can be played with no attenuation, like player sounds.

[Accensus]

I've said it once and I'll say it again:

I fucking love this community. 101% Mockaward material. You guys have proven that the sea of ideas is bottomless.

IIRC, sounds can be played with no attenuation, like player sounds.

Correct.

[Zeberpal]

And they said there is no time machine.

[Csonicgo]

Version 0.01a up. Lemme know if it works for y'all.

[Gez]

In short, yes. I have little knowledge in setting up the ZDoom script environment, I wouldn't even know where to start, which compiler to use, which Domain-Specific Language to use -- even as a programmer by trade, the state of ZDoom modding in this regard is still as cryptic as hieroglyphs without the Rosetta Stone, especially for non-Windows users.

I'm glad you've somehow managed to never hear of [wiki]ACS[/wiki] during all these years in the Doom community.

And I apologize for breaking this stretch.

[Csonicgo]

In short, yes. I have little knowledge in setting up the ZDoom script environment, I wouldn't even know where to start, which compiler to use, which Domain-Specific Language to use -- even as a programmer by trade, the state of ZDoom modding in this regard is still as cryptic as hieroglyphs without the Rosetta Stone, especially for non-Windows users.

I'm glad you've somehow managed to never hear of [wiki]ACS[/wiki] during all these years in the Doom community.

And I apologize for breaking this stretch.

You mean the ACS already in this mod? Because ACS is how this works, nyo.

I'm just shocked that ZDoom requires an external compiler, heck, any external program just to run something as simple as that script syntax. No wonder people say ACS sucks.

Edited first post. Given that so many other compilers exist for ACS I had assumed (wrongly) that it was going to be a pain in the ass.

[BFG]

make the game randomly turn off at some points to give the impression that the mother has yanked the computer plug out.

[RaveYard]

lol... you could more or less make the sounds based on stuff that is happening. The simplest would be if "mom" was taunting the player with how much time he spent playing so far.

[Gez]

I'm just shocked that ZDoom requires an external compiler, heck, any external program just to run something as simple as that script syntax.

ACS was designed to use compiled bytecode; the Hexen IWAD levels are shipped with bytecode but no source. So you're going to have a hard time justifying having your ACS VM run on interpreted source code instead of compiled bytecode.

But you can also use something different, like GDCC, then you won't be using ACS syntax but it'll still end up being compatible bytecode.

[Csonicgo]

I'm just shocked that ZDoom requires an external compiler, heck, any external program just to run something as simple as that script syntax.

ACS was designed to use compiled bytecode; the Hexen IWAD levels are shipped with bytecode but no source. So you're going to have a hard time justifying having your ACS VM run on interpreted source code instead of compiled bytecode.

But you can also use something different, like GDCC, then you won't be using ACS syntax but it'll still end up being compatible bytecode.

True, but in today's JavaScript-y world, you must admit it's strange to do it that way. Plus it seems like a way to keep modders "honest".