If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

[Naniyue]

NOTE: That's a term I made up. Although I know there's a lot of anger involved, please keep the thread clean.

I am a completely nerdy guy, glasses and all, of small-medium stature. How much this plays into things I don't know, but I am SICK and TIRED of so-called "men" who think they can be aggressive instead of assertive over the smallest of infractions. For just one example, I've lost count of how many times I've simply brushed some guy's toe on the bus and have him yell at me as if I had hit it with a hammer! I could go into road infractions, by both sides, but that would only make things even hotter right now. Thing is, I may look meek, but I'm not. As foolish as it may be, I DO respond, though usually assertively, as I am fed up with these "men" getting away with this crap.

Have any of you, especially guys, had trouble with this? I would like to hear your tales, as well as any ingenious ways you may have managed to symbolically slap the bastards into seeing how wrong they are behaving.

I know this is very off topic, and that there may be better places online to put this, but I only belong to a couple of forums and never use chat rooms. I am just VERY angry right now, and unfortunately it takes HOURS for the fight or flight chemicals to pass through me. If you suffer similar, you are not alone!

Anyway, feel free to respond, but nicely.

[Caligari87]

[YukiHerz]

I don't think i'm doing it correctly, when someone tries to be "alpha male" against i respond back even harder...

[TheMightyHeracross]

This thread is going to go baaaaaad places, I know it.

[Nevander]

When I run into people like this, I laugh to myself and just ignore them because I know that deep down they are lashing out because of how shitty their life is and they just throw blame for stupid things on others.

[TypeSaucy]

That sounds more like an asshole than an alpha male if anything.

Don't pay any mind to it. It's not even a big issue.

This thread is going to go baaaaaad places, I know it.

I doubt it.

[Naniyue]

@ Caligari87: That knocked off an hour of suffering. Thanks!

@ HazeBandicoot: Unfortunately, at times I do drop some f bombs myself.

@ Nevander: Unfortunately, it's hard to ignore them when they are two feet from you, and you have a high sense of justice. But yes, their lives must really suck, I agree.

@ X-CrAzYkOoL-X: They are a-holes, yes, but I chose the term alpha male because that's what it feels like to one of lesser physical stature like myself. I really do wonder how often a 6'2" nerd suffers from this problem.

[Big C]

I'm going to say this for the other people who might want to say it but aren't out of sheer politeness:

What the flying fuck are you going on about?

[Naniyue]

@ Big C: I'm not good at explanations, but here goes:

There are many adult males who turn to anger or even rage over the slightest of (supposed) transgressions, ready to jump down your throat or even threaten to fight you, especially if you are of smaller stature than them.

I've personally dealt with such many times throughout childhood, as the nerd is always the one to be picked on, but I fought back. Being much older now (40) I would have hoped that these "boys" would have grown into true men. Instead, they take their crap out on other guys, like me, who they think they can "handle".

And please, I did say to respond nicely. "Flying fuck" was not a good choice.

[|ndußtrial]

i think that's a cover for insecurity
i used to trigger it in people all the time, and being that i was socially anxious, i'd freak out about it - a lot of guys would feel bad for me, especially when i was younger
now somehow it just never happens - maybe there's a mutual respect or something?



when something silly does happen, the other person and i sometimes just giggle it off right there, but that's when said party is female - talking to guys is more difficult (...for me)

[wildweasel]

Yeah, stuff like this is why I tend to not talk to people. I keep to my little corner and do my own quiet things. You just don't have a way to know what a given person is going to do.

[Big C]

@Naniyue: Aight. Well I hardly think it's necessarily gender-related or whatever (I have met plenty of women with a vicious, territorial streak), and I think you making it a "nerds vs jocks" thing is just plain silly. This behavior exists outside of high school contexts, you know, so phrasing it in high school terms is kinda eyeroll-worthy. It really *does* make you look like a child here. I'm really sorry to put it that way, but this topic just...I dunno, your argument strikes me as out of the blue and putting weird labels on people.

[Naniyue]

It probably is a cover for insecurity. Funny thing is, most women I've had bad run-ins with behave far more appropriately. I really think many of us guys are taught the wrong things growing up.

@ Big C: It was never meant as a "high school" type thing. Sorry about that. It's just that I continue to bump into these types of guys when I myself am just a nice guy trying to live my life without getting in anyone's way. It just feels unjust.

@ wildweasel: Yeah, unfortunately these things are often unpredictable.

EDIT: OK, here's another example. I ride an electric bicycle to work. One day, a guy cuts me off, just to reach the stop sign, and I almost run into him because of this. In anger, I simply say, "Congratulations for making it to a stop sign." The guy then proceeds to pull his car over and starts threatening me. So even though I started this one, he was in the wrong according to traffic rules, and then THREATENS me for my pointing that out? Of course I got angry!

[Matt]

Been there, done that, been the bad guy far more often than I'm willing to admit (including frequently on these forums), hence the stuff that led to the thinking behind my response to |ndußtrial's recent post.

[Jimmy]

just don't be a dick alright