Depressed Friend, Seeking help

[Clownman]

I know this isn't really the forum to talk about this stuff, but I feel since my friend was a member here for quite a few years before eventually locking up his account from being able to login intentionally out of embarrassment, as he always feels unproud of his artwork for some reason. I feel I need to talk about this. You may recognize this guy as "Flynn Taggart" here on the forums, Me and him have been best friends since we met in Skulltag in about 2008-2009. We've gotten closer in contact with using Skype and I even introduced him to DA before he shut it down ((Recently he did it again, For presumably the same reasons...))

Recently, Things have been very hard for him and I don't exactly know what to do to help though. He's been living a rough life with his brothers and father in particular as well as finding a job, sadly. I've done my best for the past 3 years now but at this point I feel it's only gotten worse. I just don't know what I should do though - I keep telling him things will eventually get better, I keep telling him me and another friend of his are always going to be here when things are rough. Yesterday he was probably the most depressed I've ever seen him, and I'm worried of him becoming suicidal.



If any of you have some advice or anything to send to my pal, please do. I think he could really use it. He's a very important person to me. Again, Posting this here because he was a member of this forum and contributed quite a few things you may have found neat, me included. I always tell him he has great artistic talent, but he always denies it..

[Dancso]

I don't know if this might fully apply or how viable it is for your friend, but I'll post it on the off chance it proves to be beneficial:

The short version is, no matter how bad things get, it helps a lot to have other stuff going for you, things that you might have to create for yourself as distractions from the negatives.

It works for me, personally. I sit a lot at home, since i work from here. My environment tends to bum me the hell out occasionally.. but regular activities, or even occasional events help me cope with it. When I used to take guitar lessons, that made me happy because I was bettering myself. Or sometimes if my friends organize a night out, or a game night, it can be very relaxing.

I have an internet friend who has been rather depressed at one point. It was about something that happened in the past, but had left a bad scar, figuratively speaking. I found that distracting him from his thoughts was an occasional remedy. We played games together, which sometimes succeeded in diverting his attention from his sorrow, even if for a little while. He didn't always feel like playing, so it's by no means a magical solution, but it's an option worth trying over and over. I presume you've probably thought of this, the only thing I could suggest is a change of scenery. I would play a lot of doom with this friend of mine, but whenever I found a game that fit our cooperation well, it would help break the monotony, leaving him less opportunity to get back to his "thoughts".

[unRyker]

I currently have mild anxiety and the hobby that satisfies me is self-improving or looking up tips on acting socially and mentally adept when it comes to almost any situation ever. Anxiety and depression really sucks, but self-improving and filling up your ego/confidence for you and around others can really change the way you view things.

I have this bookmarked which helped me out tremendously: http://imgur.com/gallery/v7KRH

Best of luck!

[Nevander]

Well I'd love to offer some advice but unfortunately I'm also a semi-depressed, socially awkward anxious guy with no marketable skills. I'd never get suicidal because that's just stupid. But I have a problem of not knowing how to improve and having to constantly be sucked back into the feeling of "you're not good enough."

My advice, if any, would be to focus on what you love to do and don't let others tell you if you're good or bad at it. Find joy in your hobbies and use them to remind yourself that life isn't so bad. For example, I love Doom. No matter what, I will always have this videogame franchise to play when I'm feeling down. Another helpful tool is music. Listen to your favorite genre and reflect on it; only exception is sad music... that probably won't help. Listen to music that makes you feel like you're glad to be alive. Doom music anyone?

[Dancso]

My advice, if any, would be to focus on what you love to do and don't let others tell you if you're good or bad at it.

This, a thousand times this.
I have gone years modding games, creating small game prototypes, and eventually made a full game. I have been told over and over that what I wanted to do for a living was not viable and that i was dreaming if i thought I'd ever get anywhere else than under a bridge with my approach, only because I didn't choose to do what others have told me, what they thought would be necessary for me career-wise, regardless of my interests. I was an outcast at school because I had interests that nobody else did. At one point a family member *cough* has flat-out told me I'd never amount to anything... and yet, here I am, doing what i have fought hard for, what I would never give up... coincidentally earning twice the money with a part-time job as much a peer would earn with a full-time one. (though that has more to do with financial differences between countries than the value of my work)

Don't take this as encouragement to make rash decisions about your future, I have taken a great risk and I'm very lucky and privileged to be living my dream at the age of 22.
The message quoted above doesn't have to be about career, it could be a hobby, a sport, anything. As long as you're doing whatever makes you happy, and you're not murdering people (only perhaps killing your parents' selfish dreams), it doesn't matter if you're good or bad at it, or if anyone thinks it's worth doing or not.
Aimless people envy those who have a mission in life. Far too many are just riding the waves, with no love for anything in the world. Some of them are wicked enough to bring others down with them.

I agree about the music too - it can be such a powerful tool. Most (if not all) of my highly-productive days are had with plenty of music, it's no coincidence. Interestingly enough, moody tunes don't affect my workflow negatively. As long as I'm addicted to a song, i could listen to it on repeat, whether happy or sad, it would help me focus