If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Naniyue · Post by **Naniyue** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:38 am

I agree! But I end up being the bad guy, even when I'm not. It's a terrible feeling. If I am truly in the wrong, I admit it and apologize. But I rarely receive such courtesy when it is due to me.

But this thread is not just about my dealings with this stuff. I really do want to hear other examples, how you dealt with them, and how you felt afterward. Violent or non-violent results, I would like to know. Thanks!

Kinsie · Post by **Kinsie** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:49 am

Big C wrote:I'm going to say this for the other people who might want to say it but aren't out of sheer politeness:

What the flying fuck are you going on about?

I'm going to say this for the other people who might want to say it but aren't out of sheer politeness: What the fuck is an electric bicycle?

Naniyue wrote:I would like to hear your tales, as well as any ingenious ways you may have managed to symbolically slap the bastards into seeing how wrong they are behaving.

Naniyue wrote:EDIT: OK, here's another example. I ride an electric bicycle to work. One day, a guy cuts me off, just to reach the stop sign, and I almost run into him because of this. In anger, I simply say, "Congratulations for making it to a stop sign." The guy then proceeds to pull his car over and starts threatening me. So even though I started this one, he was in the wrong according to traffic rules, and then THREATENS me for my pointing that out? Of course I got angry!

You should probably put a lid on the "ingenious ways to symbolically slap the bastards into seeing how wrong they are behaving" because you don't live in a Joss Whedon screenplay and the snappy one-liners are clearly doing the complete opposite of what you want them to do. Just sigh, roll your eyes, and move on with your commute safe and unpunched. Maybe relay the story to friends and/or co-workers around the watercooler (metaphorical or literal) to let the steam off if you still care around lunchtime.

Alternatively, get a car. They can't hear you curse them out if the windows are up.

Naniyue · Post by **Naniyue** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:57 am

I never said I did live in such a realm. I just wanted to see if anyone got lucky and put these guys in their place for once.

My main point, however, is simply not running into these guys as often as I do.

OK . . . . here's tonight's example that started all of this:

I was riding home, and I had a flat. I have that gooey stuff in my bike tubes, so usually I just repump and get going again. I was on the road, and pulled off into some guy's driveway (no sidewalk), so that no oncoming cars would hit me. I figured, it was after 11:00 PM, so either the people are asleep or just chilling. Almost immediately, a guy comes up telling me, aggressively, NOT assertively, to get away from his truck. I told him that I didn't care about his truck, and simply wanted to safely repump my tire. He told me to leave. I told him to say it assertively instead of aggressively, which he did, kind of, and I left, saying as I left about the fact that whole point was to prevent an accident if a car came by. So, while I may have been wrong to use his driveway, I had not done anything so immoral as to elicit the response I got. I can understand him being concerned, but if it was me, I would have said "OK, go ahead and finish pumping, but leave soon." And I would have stayed until he left.

EDIT: An electric bicycle is a bike with a battery powered motor. They've been around a long time, but have become more popular, and cheaper, in recent years. With one of these I get to work just fine, without any tag and title costs or insurance. besides, I never liked driving cars. Bikes always felt more natural to me.

Kinsie · Post by **Kinsie** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:01 am

Wasn't there like a nature strip, or whatever they call it in the US, you could pull onto? You know, the thing of grass between the road and the footpath.

Naniyue · Post by **Naniyue** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:04 am

Why am I having to defend myself here?

Grass doesn't readily agree with kickstands. Concrete does.

Besides, everyone makes mistakes. I made a mistake, but got threatened for it? That's not right.

!!!!!!!!!!!!ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two things:

ONE- I was never good at arguments, so please try not to start one with me. It will only lead to thread lock.

TWO - Don't make me out to be the bad guy. It's sickening.

|ndußtrial · Post by **|ndußtrial** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:05 am

Naniyue wrote:Why am I having to defend myself here?

Grass doesn't readily agree with kickstands. Concrete does.

Besides, everyone makes mistakes. I made a mistake, but got threatened for it? That's not right.

this may seem nearly new-age, but... forgive them

Naniyue · Post by **Naniyue** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:10 am

@ |ndußtrial: You are right about forgiveness, in most cases. Sometimes it's right away, other times, it takes time for me. But I honestly cannot forgive certain instances. This guy tonight, sure, I'll probably forgive him by the morning. He was concerned about theft, which makes sense, but why couldn't it simply have been that no one knew I was there, and I pumped up and left with no mishap at all? That would have been a LOT better. Or maybe, this HAD to happen so I'd start this thread? Who knows?

grouchbag · Post by **grouchbag** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:36 am

We had a guy in my building a couple of years ago who thought he could boss women around.he was standing 10-12 feet away from me and told me to shut the fuck up, bitch.I was discussing something with one of the other women concerning an upcoming party for people in our complex.Don't know what he was going on about, so I confronted him.Apparently he thought we were talking about him.We weren't.I laughed, and my friend and I walked away.He wasn't worth causing any problems over.Found out he was evicted for non payment of rent a month later.Talk about poetic justice.....

Naniyue · Post by **Naniyue** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:36 am

@ grouchbag: Nice story! I LIKE it!

I'd definitely put that guy in the insecure category.

Not totally related to this thread, but I DO have an example of a victory of sorts. One late night, riding the bus home, two people were yelling at each other over NOTHING! Everyone on the bus was palpably upset. Finally, I got fed up, and shouted at the top of my lungs, "ENOUGH!" Then, I said more calmly, "We're all tired, probably a little angry, but let's just stay calm and enjoy a nice quiet ride home, OK?"

. . . And it WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt · Post by **Matt** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:43 am

Sounds like you gave them a face-saving exit - complying with a disinterested third party yelling at them to stop doesn't require a capitulation to the person they are actually opposing, which would have prevented either from stopping on their own even if both of them wanted to.

EDIT: While I would speculate that if you'd cut in earlier while both of them were still earnestly raring to go at each other it could have ended much more badly...

grouchbag · Post by **grouchbag** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:58 am

@Naniyue Believe me, this guy had a HUGE alpha male syndrome problem.But the party we had was wonderful at least.Thanks for your reply and good luck to you!

Naniyue · Post by **Naniyue** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:00 am

@ grouchbag: And thanks and luck to you, too!

@ Vaecrius: Hmm... I never thought of that. But a victory nonetheless. I knew it was a little risky going into it, but somebody had to say something, as the bus driver didn't, so . . .

TypeSaucy · Post by **TypeSaucy** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:53 am

Just asking for the purpose of how the community is (don't answer so specifically neither. just the state/country): where do you live, and how often does this happen?

Dancso · Post by **Dancso** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:14 pm

I tend to choose the silent outcome. I don't like giving these people the satisfaction of a response. It depends on the situation of course, but as long as there's no apparent risk, I treat them with great indifference.
Sometimes I secretly hope the lack of reaction will gnaw at their mind, though the people who really get to me generally aren't intelligent enough for development of character, so I just accept it for what it is, a shit that happens.

I live with two of these people, they're family. It's the only way to cope for me.

Post by **Rachael** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:57 pm

As a woman, I have to deal with "alpha male" types a lot in my life. And yes, I get treated differently for it.

A lot of times, it manifests itself as misogyny, they like to act big and tough especially in making an assertive woman back down, but in the end I know I am better than they are and I just walk off and ignore them. Karma usually takes care of the rest - either immediately, if I tell someone about it, or later on, when they inevitably dick around with the wrong person. And that's when I grab popcorn and watch.

It's really that simple. Those people just aren't worth the time or energy. It's not their fault that society raises them to be that way, but it is their fault that they don't change and continue to do so.

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If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

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Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!

Re: If you are SICK of alpha male syndrome, raise your hand!