Lars?
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it's linked right on the downloads page: http://zdoom.org/download.html
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This is Lars:
Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress.
He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska, as far from humanity as
possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a
month. Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of
almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and
there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars ... your
neighbor from forty miles away .... Having a Christmas party Friday ...
Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great," says Sam, "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some
local folks. Thank you."
As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna' be some
drinkin'."
"Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best
of 'em."
Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. "More'n likely gonna' be some
fightin', too."
Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these
parties, too."
"Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for
six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"
Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna' be the two of us."
He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska, as far from humanity as
possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a
month. Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of
almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and
there is a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars ... your
neighbor from forty miles away .... Having a Christmas party Friday ...
Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great," says Sam, "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some
local folks. Thank you."
As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna' be some
drinkin'."
"Not a problem... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best
of 'em."
Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. "More'n likely gonna' be some
fightin', too."
Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these
parties, too."
"Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for
six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"
Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna' be the two of us."