Favorite Copypastas

[Clown_Number_42]

Simple, Share your favorite copypastas and why you like them.

[wildweasel]

Simple, Share your favorite copypastas and why you like them.

You first?

[Clown_Number_42]

Simple, Share your favorite copypastas and why you like them.

You first?

One of my favorites are the "I used the shotgun, you know why? 'cause the shotgun doesn't miss" copypasta, why i like it is because it actually has a bit of truth to it, shotguns in videogames usually are very strong.

[leileilol]

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[Ac!d]

(\__/) | This is Bunny.
(O.o ) | Copy Bunny into your signature to help
(> < ) | him on his way to world domination!

[openroadracer]

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

Say what you will. I find it funny.

[yum13241]

Vaporeon copy pastas. NSFW alert. (https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comm ... _of_human/)
Why do I like it? Because it's usually off topic and I wish I could see the reaction on their face.

---

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon fighting, Vaporeon is the most murderous Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle killing you, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one BUT they will fend you off and kill you. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an murder wanting Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have drowned by it going in your mouth with the time limit of 1 second without living the drowning. **They can also learn the moves Water Pulse, Ice Punch Self Destruct, Bubble Beam, Ass Kick and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide its murder weapons, so it'd be incredibly easy for you to die will fighting with one. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water, meaning your screwed and destined to die

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokemon.Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokemon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate.Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

You're not just incorrect, you're stupid.
Why do I like it? Because it sounds like those call help if you feel like committing suicide things AND because it shames them lol.

---

You're not just incorrect, you're also stupid. I mean that sincerely. You're not a very smart person and you never will be. For your entire life, the majority of the people in every room you enter, are smarter than you are. The problem with stupid people is that they are helpless to help themselves, and if they are given the opportunity to make decisions, they will inevitably hurt themselves and the people around them. This is what makes stupid people not just ridiculous, but also dangerous. You are a dangerous stupid person, which is only amplified by your courage to speak. I am afraid there is no cure for stupidity (you're born with it, and a good portion seems genetic).
Here's my best suggestion, as a smart person, to a stupid person, who needs help. Find the help you need from experts. DO NOT TRUST YOURSELF. You are stupid. You will have to rely on those more educated or more understanding of the world. The hardest part for you, will be deciding who is the "expert" or who has the right advice. Luckily, I have a solution for you. Ask other people in the field of expertise, who they feel are worthy of your time and energy. Other people (smarter than you) will be able to tell the differences between intelligence where you cannot. They will be able to perceive the blind spot. For example, if you need advice on buying a home, talk to other people who have purchased home (but this is key) ONLY take advice from people who have a proven track record of success and who they suggest speaking with.
Not all opinions are equally valid. Your opinion is worthless, so to help add value to your actions you need to find opinions that are trusted and held somewhat valid by your smarter colleagues and peers. You will be unable to help yourself otherwise. You simply do not have the mental capacity for the kind of abstract thought required to process the information at higher levels. Please don't feel bad. The majority of the world is in your situation and they can't help it either.

Please do not say "lmao".
Why do I like it? Cuz anyone who sends it seriously is a Karen.

---

Please do not say “lmao.” It is not a very nice “word” { more like a made up word lol sorry } because it is saying the A word which is a curse word. Saying the A word is wrong and does not please the one true and Living God which is our Lord Jesus Christ who shed His precious blood FOR humanity / mankind [ on the cross ] and we very truly need to respect that because, like bro, He died on the cross for humanity / mankind. Amen.

You humor me greatly with your arrogance and contempt (just got reminded of this one) (a readable version of Kinsie's post)
Why do I like it? Cuz it originates from the DOOM community and it's plain funny.

---

You humor me greatly with your arrogance and contempt, a flood of accusations born from the poison of envy and smite of disrespect. I feel both disappointment and flattery these thoughts would originate from another player who has demonstrated one of a kind talent and has accomplished the impossible, yet is immune from judgment owing to their reputation, do not think your words hold more credibility just because of who you are, being more well known and what you have accomplished in breaking world records and setting ones never previously accomplished, such as with TNT and Plutonia Nightmare. With that being said I will divulge my thoughts on the serious accusations you have set forth.

I won't address the individual gameplay scenarios you've highlighted, as the foundation of your argument arises from jealously, this is clear when you contrast my success with your failure, being deluded into thinking you should have surpassed these trials yet cannot comprehend how someone else can claim victory consistently, instead I will address my playing ability. You know nothing about who I am or my history with this game, I am exceptionally talented not only at Doom but other old-school FPS along with videogames in general. I make speedruns and partake in Ironman out of passion for the game, it is a personal challenge in testing my playing ability to overcome arduous odds, I play for fun, it's about me vs the game and I hold no strong competitive urge or desire to be known as the best, reputation and status are not important to me but having fun is essential.

Are you serious when you can't believe someone can beat an Ironman consistently? It's just playing the game without saving or loading, do you not have a fundamental understanding of the core gameplay and how to the play game correctly? Am I the only one who can play aggressively, with an intuitive and innate ability to bend the game to their will and not panic when in a dire situation, but with tactical genius aware of my surroundings and dexterous reflexes can act in the heat of battle and overcome arduous odds? When you highlight cases of RNG, I honestly don't think about it that deeply, I'm confident in what I'm doing, I'll make a risky move and hold strong with faith. I laugh at your baseless accusations of a slowdown about Stardate, I'm sure other skilled players such as Mrzzul and Nevanos could playthrough Stardate casually without prior practice or saving and get just as far. Also bear in mind that I have died in several Ironmans before, do you honestly think there was demo manipulation there?

You also demonstrate your ignorance very clearly when you admit you haven't watched my Ironman demos in full, and by watching I do mean studying them and assessing each scenario, bearing in mind my experience and ability at Doom which is extraordinary, not skipping to a random moment and making up fabrications based on your failures thinking oh it's impossible, there is no way any player could accomplish that. I do make mistakes, sometimes crucial ones, this is also reflected if you studied my speedruns which are far from perfect and have flaws such as missing shots, awkward movement, and poor dodging, however, a key skill I have is not panicking when low on health or when the circumstance is dire. Well, guess what, I'm one of a kind, no one can play the game like me, every talented player and speedrunner has their strengths and weaknesses that make them stand out. I am deluded when you suggest someone must have prior knowledge to stand a chance of victory at Ironman. Well look at Demon of the Well, he's not a speedrunner but is known for making FDAs both blind and familiar, he has an exceptional ability at conquering maps on his first attempt, the most prominent example I can think of is rdwpa's MuMe.wad. Does that mean he cheats? Certainly not, he's a talented player who has a high level of playing ability. You also have j4rio and 0xfooba who have accomplished amazing demos that haven't been set before, with the former tysons that should be impossible and the latter UV-Maxes on some the hardest maps devised and speedrun movies of Sunlust. So why would you think my speedruns are cheated, when there are fellow speedrunners who have demonstrated extraordinary playing ability, do not stream and have surpassed my demos? As I certainly have never accused anyone else of cheating, but respect their accomplishment and admire their tenacity at conquering very hard maps and goals.

I have not shown jealousy or malice towards fellow speedrunners who have surpassed my demos but silently congratulate and admire their accomplishment, in some cases publicly such as when Ancalagon went back and re-ran Combat Shock in response to when I beat his old runs. I do not look at speedrunning with a competitive eye, thinking I must have the record and surpass my competitor, instead, my view is a cooperative one, it's us speedrunners against the game, building on one another's ideas and talent when a new record is set, complementing each other's unique strengths and weaknesses.

My question would be why are you accusing and targetting me specifically? I can see from the depths of your arrogance, you believe with absolute certainty you are correct and I must be a cheater with any form of rebuttal being null and void. Well let me state I have nothing to gain, why would I cheat at Ironman when I have publically stated previously I do not care about winning or if a fellow player surpasses me, this is just fun to me. For speedruns, what would be the purpose in cheating as it's a personal challenge to me, I want to demonstrate to myself I've got the skill and talent to conquer very hard maps, it's about me against the game and I don't feel jealousy at a fellow speedrunner who has beaten my record. I make speedruns out of passion and love for the game and not for admiration or self-flattery, as long as Andy accepts the demo for DSDA that's all I care about.

I am not going to stream as I do not care for an audience and am not influenced by the accusations of an envious stranger. I only streamed briefly for a short time in the past out of curiosity, but it does not interest me nor do I feel passion for it. I haven't watched Twitch in over a year, I was drawn to it in my spare time during the short period before my first full-time job after finishing my studies. My life has changed a lot in the past two years and there are far more important aspects of life which draw my attention, I have little free time as well. Also, you must be very self-conscious if you honestly think one has to stream their demo to demonstrate they aren't cheating, that just indicates your disrespect and distrust towards other players with exceptional playing ability, you'll never be a talented survivalist like me Let me make it clear I don't give a damn what you or anyone else thinks of me when I am passionate about a subject I will speak my mind truthfully even if it means being brash at times, both online and in real life, I won't be intimidated by anyone and will confront them with assertion and confidence. I'm here for fun, making speedruns and commenting on subjects once in a while which capture my eye.

Thank you for revealing your true colors, seething with jealousy and enveloped by arrogance, you've lost what respect I had for you. If you've come to your senses you will offer an apology, take a good luck in the mirror before you make such a disgusting accusation against a fellow Doom player, who has not caused strife and discord but shows humility and respect with a carefree attitude, or will you continue this charade and repeat history, replicating the case of Okuplok? If you do continue to accuse, it will be solely for my amusement as I will not take you seriously and will likely ignore you. Choose wisely.

https://copypastatext.com/ also exists. That's where I got the one in the second spoiler from. Check it out, it's really funny. (note: NSFW and/or other offensive content exists on the site)

[Kinsie]

[Marisa the Magician]

Speaking of copypastas originating from the Doom community...

[yum13241]

That one is infamous.

[wildweasel]

WHAT??? YOU are telling me the guy just updates when ever he wants?

[yum13241]

Heh, nice reference to a forum incident there.

[Rachael]

Unfortunately that's an extremely common thing around here, and quite shameful.

People think they can order creators around to do the things they want. I can't speak for everyone but I think it's fair to say nearly all creators on this forum are open to feedback, it's one of the more exhilarating things about sharing your work with others, knowing they are enjoying it. But the downside of that is some people think they are entitled, as was shamefully on display in the post wildweasel linked. They think that because someone else has skills they do not have that they have the right to order other people around.

That is something I think has never been tolerated on this forum. Allowing it would kill a community like this very quickly. It creates a toxic environment; certainly the kind of environment I would never want to see myself in, much less partaking in. It's simply not okay to act like that. And people who do that are not much different from the "Karens" we see that frequently go viral on Tiktok and Twitter.

I remember I've always used the defense that this work is done for free as a defense against that. But while that is true, and it is a good reason to appreciate the work you are given, I think it's the wrong way to handle this situation - because acting like that is not ever okay, even if you are paying money. Paying money does entitle you to make demands to a certain level, but not to the level that these people frequently go to when it's outright done for free, and it never ever makes abuse okay. (Yes, sometimes it does get outright abusive, and I think the incident wildweasel referenced is a perfect example of that - a perfect example of how it's never okay to act, even if you are paying someone)

Yeah, I think a re-evaluation of how we respond to this kind of thing in the future is in order. It's important to remember that people never do this kind of thing just to be evil; they do it because they don't understand that it's not okay. But we still have to hit them pretty hard with it, because if you already think you are truly entitled in the first place, then being challenged on that even by itself only makes you angrier.

[yum13241]

Pretty true.

I can't speak for everyone but I think it's fair to say nearly all creators on this forum are open to feedback,

I sure am.


For example, if GZDoom became paid, I'd damn expect it to have less bugs and if there are that it gets resolved quickly, but since


1. GZDoom is a hobby project.

2. I never paid for it (if you did you got scammed)


So I can't expect 24/7 support for example (of course if GZDoom advertized that it'd be natural to expect it and not delivering would be false advertizing)


Anyways, let's stay on topic,


i eXpEcT eVeRyOnE tO rEaCt tO mY MeMe! (WHAT?!!! YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS GUY UPDATES WHEN HE WANTS?! Discord Edition)

---

When I send a meme on the group chat I expect every single person on the group chat to react to the meme. Especially if I tag you in the meme I expect you to write a heartfelt message of atleast 200 words about what the meme means to you. If I tag you multiple times in a meme I don't care if I send the meme at 2am or 4am or 3pm I will need you to turn on push notifications for the group chat so that when I tag you in a meme you will show the meme to everyone you are with at that point in time. I don't care if its your mom, dad, coworker or therapist. You better be showing them the meme I tagged you in and explaining to them how good of a friend I am. I know a few of you in the group chat are angry that I found out where you live and where your siblings live. But that is not an excuse for not responding to my memes. I carefully curate each meme based on each one of your personalities. I make sure to crop out the reddit footer or erase any part of the meme that could make the meme seem unfunny to you. After this I expect all 33 of you in this group chat to write to me a formal apology for your behaviour. If you refuse to do so i will have to look for your house using Google maps and the little information I have about your whereabouts. Afterwards I will be printing out memes and putting them in your letter box. If you still refuse to apologise to me I will have to embarras you by buying sex toys and delivering it to your neighbours in your name and make it look like a "mistake by the FedEx employee", your neighbours will have to hand deliver the sextoy to you or will secretly judge you. Not to mention the several of you that still live with your parents that will no longer be accepted in your household

I am DONE. (OP of the incident be like:)

---

I am done.
I am done with you. I mentally can’t deal with you anymore. Every day I think of you, and for what reason? You used to make me so happy; hearing your name used to put me in such a good mood, and for what? I don’t know why I’m writing this. You’ll never see this. You never bothered with the way I felt. I can’t anymore. I can not take it anymore. You caused so much joy yet so much despair in one year. It’s like I’m on a sick roller coaster where my feelings are the ones that are at stake. You slowly took me up to the peaks of my happiness, and just like that, when you didn’t expect it, you took me to lows I didn’t even know I had. Finally, taking me through a series of loop de loops which makes me feel sick every time I think of you.
It’s 1 am, and we both know I don’t make rash decisions when I’m tired. As I rest my head on my plush blue pillow, procrastinating on an assessment, staring into the soft glow of my laptop screen, I wonder when do I let you put me through this again? What’s that old saying? “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” Hell, I’m already a fool, so what’s after that? Do you know what still get’s me? I still love you. I don’t know why. It doesn’t matter how much torment you put me through; I still love you. I still imagine you, I still imagine us, and I’m holding on to something that didn’t even happen, but it makes me so happy. Actually, being in a healthy relationship with someone, genuinely caring for someone, is something I’ve longed for, and I thought that could be us. It turns out I was wrong, but hey, that’s love, right? I had every opportunity to tell you how I felt about you, but I didn’t tell you. I always felt like you knew. You’ve had to of known. But when I needed closure, when I needed the last say, I get denied it. I get pushed away, having to be told by your friend that you’d prefer me as a stranger. I just feel empty.
I still picture your eyes, your sweet innocent brown eyes. I can get lost in them all day, but yet there is no residue of a torturer inside of them. Your innocent voice was so calming. It made me feel safe. It’s funny, isn’t it? How I still hang onto things even though they are dead. I’m like a gardener trying to keep my precious orchids alive, but I just get hit by storms from left to right. I need to speak to a therapist, don’t I? That's a problem for tomorrow. You seriously don’t know how tired I am, both physically and mentally. I am so close to falling asleep on this keyboard. It’s idiotic. But just the thought of you makes me stop. You take over my mind; it’s a sick, horrible form of torture. Just to let you know, this letter isn’t for you. It’s for me. Because I need the closure because I need the ending, I need this to be finished, and I’m not letting the image of you dictate my life anymore.
Honestly, it feels like whiplash; we’re friends, then we’re not, then friends, then we’re not. Like I said before, how long do you think it's going to take for me to let you do this again? Or are you going to move on to the next person? You know what? I am done with you. I am done with your name, your face, and your friends. You’ve tainted your own self-image to where I feel physically sick when I hear your name. I am done.

[Clown_Number_42]

Here's one i found, The "Joe Momma" copypasta.



"Who’s joe?" a distant voice asks.

Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location.

The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar.

”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered.

The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear.

"I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.