After some head scratching, I realized that I needed to see just where the hitboxes were lined up at in the game versus the editor...and after getting Nash's Radius Debug working with my project (actually the other way around), I discovered the following, with my conclusions following that

I have concluded that the differences in sprite location come down to inaccuracies of Doom Builder. Those sprites are placeholders, you should never, ever, see them when playing properly. As can be seen in the screenshot, the hitboxes are placed correctly; the upper light should be above the railing, the lower light should be above the "seat" of the...idk "cyber bench???" So, in short, neither my ACS nor my ZScript is wrong and there is actually no problem here! Don't mind me, I'm the queen of paranoid
Now I'm going to have to expand Real Elevators to deal with objects too...

Anyway, Enjay, thank you!
*Inaccuracies of Doom Builder: Look at the editor screenshot, then this one. The hitboxes are different, who is correct? Nash. The code specifies a height and radius of 1 for these object's hitboxes, yet Doom Builder shows it to be a big, flat square. Also, note the location of the sprites themselves in relation to the hitbox. Doom Builder makes it look like I've centered the sprites, but I have done no such thing; as I stated these sprites are placeholders so offsetting them is useless, therefore the engine is showing them correctly, down to the lower right of the hitbox.