What happened to poor drfrag (need help)

[drfrag]

I've started the campaign and added a new photo. Really hope you guys can help.
I guess i'd need to give a bank account when i get some donations. I'll also keep the paypal option in the end just in case someone prefers it and then i'd add those to the total amount. Thanks again.

https://imgur.com/a/Pvto071

https://www.gofundme.com/help-to-pay-dr ... r-accident

[drfrag]

Thanks guys, someone very generous has donated 300€ and the goal has been reached. I don't know who he/she is but i'm very grateful and he/she probably has saved my life. Thanks very much! Thanks also to the other donor. I'll try to retire the funds next week. I only asked for the minimum to survive and i really have to do several payments so any extra help would be welcome.
As i promised development continues, i guess i can say we're back on track. But some days i won't be able to do much and i'm almost three months behind so the vintage build would come out a bit later. Anyway everything that goes to LZDoom goes through the legacy branch first.
Thanks again!

[drfrag]

This is a bit embarrassing but while the situation is not as bad as before unfortunately i still need help. I've been working on my ports nearly fulltime and i'm still unemployed. I've been repairing computers as well. Keeping me busy and focused has definitely helped and that means less suffering. The tinnitus is not getting better and i've been told it could be permanent or not, i need to get used to it but that's not possible right now. I sleep with a cushion next to me so i lay on the more damaged ear, if not i wake up with a strong buzzing crying and kicking i guess trying to scape somehow.
I've added another medical report, they made a tunnitus pitch match or something but they did it wrong and they exposed me to a 90 db very strong sound to measure masking, i don't think that makes sense. That sound was not similar enough to mine. I'm feeling much worse today but it should get a bit better in a few days they told me.
According to a test my tinnitus is severe, bad news i thought it was moderate. They're sending me to the psychiatrist for an evaluation.
My father has told me he can't help me this month, he divorced and his new wife doesn't want him to do it and they have another child, their situation is not bad at all tough.
Today was our marriage anniversary but i asked yesterday and my wife told me she didn't remember the date, she is so sad she doesn't feel like doing anything and i really wanted to do something special today, this makes me feel even worse and very sad.
The source ports are nearly done and will be released anyway but if you want to help i'd really appreciate it guys. Thanks very much!
This time i'm only asking for half the amount and i think that's fair, 150€ to help to pay this month's mortgage and all the bills. I should pay the insurance of my motorbike, i use it for work but i don't think i'll do it, i have one month respite anyway. Regards.

https://imgur.com/a/nvjNJhZ

[TDRR]

Wow, sorry to hear that. I can't help much except show you this page that may help a bit with the tinnitus (Not sure if you already read it though):
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-con ... c-20350162

[drfrag]

Thanks, i'll read that later. I feel really bad now, the strong buzzing began again yesterday afternoon like other times but now still continues.
I don't know why they have done this to me, i guess they had no idea of what they were doing but 90 db is like turning up the volume of your tv set to the max and this was
with earphones. The new whistle in the left ear gets worse when i sleep over the right one and when i'm near my desktop computer, this morning i could not stop crying. Now i can't sleep even with the pills, before at least i could live half a life now i'm dying all the time.
It's like being at the beginning of this nightmare again. I'm thinking about doing something really stupid but i want this to stop, hope it gets better soon if not i don't know...
Later i will release the vintage build as i promised, hope there are not many bugs...

[drfrag]

Thanks for the link, actually i've read a lot of information already. There's a very good page in spanish, i should try neuromodulation but i'd need to create my own personalized therapy and identify the frequency of my tinnitus. Mine it's multifrequency and it's not that easy, besides it doesn't work in all cases. Today i feel a bit better.
https://otinylucas.blogspot.com/

I've updated the target accordingly. Someone has made another donation, thanks very much! All of them help.

[drfrag]

This is another good site: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/
Unfortunately it's much worse now, so strong it's unvelievable. Last night was terrible, before i could sleep between 5 and 6 hours now i wake up after an hour with the strong interference, i just can't lay down don't know why. The pills are not strong enough.
I went to the doctor this morning and he was not there but another guy said the machine was calibrated to not harm i think he was lying, 90 db with headsets it's equivalent to 96 db at a distance of 1 meter (reference) and that's the same as a concert or a disco or an mp3 at almost full volume, not the best with previous damage. It was only a few seconds after all (nearly half a minute) so the damage should not be high in theory. Hope it gets better soon, i'm scared of going to bed tonight. I need stronger medication.
I feel like i'm dying.

[drfrag]

Aaannd today i feel much better and last night i slept well, this is like being on a rollercoaster. Hope i get better and find a real job soon.

[drfrag]

Someone has made another donation. Thanks very much!
However i still need a bit more of help to reach the target, i've paid the mortgage but there are a few pending important bills yet.

[drfrag]

Seems i'm getting a bit better but very slowly, i don't even dare to mention it. I sleep a bit more too. May be i'm getting used to it.
Sometimes i think i will manage to get out of this and go on, other times i think i won't make it and my life is over. The legacy builds are a way of scape now, good news is i've started to play Doom a little again.
I've noticed the cocking sound between levels is played at full volume sometimes, it's really disturbing for us people with auditive problems, good thing the master volume was added recently. This cheap laptop sounds pretty much the same strong at minimum and max volume , it's set to 1 out of 100 now.
Unfortunately the target for the campaign has not been met yet and i still need 80€ to pay some bills including electricity.
Suggestions on getting a telework will be greatly appreciated as i need to avoid noisy environments.
Thanks!

[drfrag]

Oops, i forgot to add the link to the GoFundMe campaign to the first post.
I still haven't met the target BTW. I've added the master volume thing by Nash to ZDoom32 as well so i can play more confident.
This is still pretty much the same, some days it's pretty bad while others is bearable. I think it's getting better (the buzzing seems to be less strong and frequent) but it's a slow and painful process.
I will also post at doomworld hoping someone also helps there. Thanks!

[drfrag]

Probably noone really cares anymore but i went to the psychiatrist this morning and he saw me in really bad shape so he has prescribed stronger medication. In the report he said he saw me dejeted, looking older than my real age and skinny (my irritable bowel has gotten worse). Last two days tinnutus has been very strong.

https://imgur.com/a/QYOIiWi

Edit: WOW! I've just seen i've received more donations. Thanks very much! I didn't expect this. Someone very generous has even donated another 300€, i feel really moved. Thanks, i'm really grateful. So the target has been met now.