"Oh wait, you're a girl?"

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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby randi » Tue Oct 04, 2016 4:15 pm

This topic has been split into another thread.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby DoomKrakken » Wed Oct 05, 2016 1:05 pm

Amazing how this thread quickly devolved into such utter bullscat. Thank you admins for cutting the cancer out. :D

Why am I not surprised?

Why is it we have such a desire to cherry-pick opinions and clash them, rather than finding and acknowledging the logic in each other's arguments and statements?

Maybe this is part of the problem brought up in the OP. What if the "flipping out" many people experience whenever someone of another gender comes into play is caused by the fear that a relationship will quickly devolve into a cesspool of complaints, lies, and utter bullscat, JUST BECAUSE one of them is different? Have we not grown up? Have we not evolved past all of the complaining and unnecessary clashing? Have we not moved past in-grouping and out-grouping?

Spoiler: Don't ban me for this... I just need to get this off my chest, and I think people really need to read this...
Last edited by wildweasel on Wed Oct 05, 2016 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby Tapwave » Wed Oct 05, 2016 1:11 pm

Clashing opinions is necessary to make ideas progress. Echo-chambers lead nowhere. However, the amount of misunderstandings, contempt, and general immaturity this devolved into is just unacceptable.
I keep saying to anyone I know that this place is by far the most mature community on the internet I've ever been part of, and it'd be cool if this remained true. :p
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby Rachael » Wed Oct 05, 2016 1:27 pm

Get off your high horse, you're really no better by bringing the topic back after it's been locked, and thereby yet again derailing this thread.

Some things just need to be said. If you feel that strongly about it, feel free not to participate in or read such discussions.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby 4thcharacter » Wed Oct 05, 2016 9:48 pm

To be honest I was kinda disappointed when the split thread's title was named with the word "mansplaining". We really didn't have to bring up Tumblr-isms here. There were even no one that's insulting everyone recklessly left to right aside maybe from the banned one.

Yeah, that's the last time I'm going to talk about that thread.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby armyman12345 » Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:21 pm

To be fair, a lotta times in gaming communities, girls reveal their genders for money and attention. With Doom kinda being a niche interest though, I don't think it's the case in this community

"Mansplaining"

I don't get it. If you don't understand something, and you happen to be of the opposite gender, and if I explain that thing to you, anyone can write it off as "mansplaining"

Just a word to silence people.

I prefer if these things are never talked about in places like here, it'll just divide the community even further.

EDIT: I've been reading through this thread and uh.... wow

Was Jimp really banned for expressing an opinion? Or was he banned for something else?

This place has changed regardless
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby Arctangent » Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:42 pm

Y'really didn't need to type any more than this
armyman12345 wrote:To be fair, a lotta times in gaming communities, girls reveal their genders for money and attention.

considering exactly how telling it really is.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby wildweasel » Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:42 pm

armyman12345 wrote:I don't get it. If you don't understand something, and you happen to be of the opposite gender, and if I explain that thing to you, anyone can write it off as "mansplaining"

The issue isn't that things needed explaining, it's that they were being explained in the most patronizing way possible, as if there was no way the other party would understand without the extremely obvious stuff being included.
Was Jimp really banned for expressing an opinion? Or was he banned for something else?

Jimp was banned because he was not being a very nice person. Opinion or not, that's not how we do things around here.

Whatever the case, though, I'd really appreciate if this part of the thread was not used as a way to continue the other part of the thread that got closed.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby armyman12345 » Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:57 pm

The issue isn't that things needed explaining, it's that they were being explained in the most patronizing way possible, as if there was no way the other party would understand without the extremely obvious stuff being included.

Fair enough, but why "man" in the word? Why isn't there "beardsplaining"? Why isn't there "glassesplaining"? Also, where do you draw the line at "patronizing"?

Jimp was banned because he was not being a very nice person. Opinion or not, that's not how we do things around here.

He was being a bit of an asshat with his writing style and he's banned permanently? Or is there something else to it? I'm not challenging you, btw, I just want answers.

Whatever the case, though, I'd really appreciate if this part of the thread was not used as a way to continue the other part of the thread that got closed.

Yeah, I agree, but I just want to know.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby Minigunner » Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:04 pm

armyman12345 wrote:To be fair, a lotta times in gaming communities, girls reveal their genders for money and attention.


To be fair, a lotta times in gaming communities, guys give money and attention to girls who reveal their genders in some (at least subconscious) hopes of getting love/nudes/laid. Some girls just use that as an opportunity.

"Mansplaining" is when a man with a generally-demeaning view towards women tries to explain things about women. The split part of the thread was essentially that.

There are quite a few women in the Doom community (cis or trans), and pretty much all of them just, well, wanna play Doom. Might as well respect that.
Last edited by Minigunner on Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby Rachael » Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:05 pm

Minigunner wrote:There are quite a few women in the Doom community (cis or trans), and pretty much all of them just, well, wanna play Doom. Might as well respect that.

Nail.

Meet hammer.

Well said.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby wildweasel » Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:08 pm

armyman12345 wrote:
Jimp was banned because he was not being a very nice person. Opinion or not, that's not how we do things around here.

He was being a bit of an asshat with his writing style and he's banned permanently? Or is there something else to it? I'm not challenging you, btw, I just want answers.

He'd attained enough warnings elsewhere on the forum with his rather abrasive attitudes that the other moderators and I were convinced that all he was doing in this thread was trying to get a rise out of everybody, and there isn't really any room in our community for that.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby armyman12345 » Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:34 pm

wildweasel wrote:
armyman12345 wrote:
Jimp was banned because he was not being a very nice person. Opinion or not, that's not how we do things around here.

He was being a bit of an asshat with his writing style and he's banned permanently? Or is there something else to it? I'm not challenging you, btw, I just want answers.

He'd attained enough warnings elsewhere on the forum with his rather abrasive attitudes that the other moderators and I were convinced that all he was doing in this thread was trying to get a rise out of everybody, and there isn't really any room in our community for that.


Got it.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby arookas » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:29 am

Minigunner wrote:There are quite a few women in the Doom community (cis or trans), and pretty much all of them just, well, wanna play Doom. Might as well respect that.

This is exactly my stance on it. But I find the issue is more of an environmental/nurturing issue. I believe vital things like respect, toleration, education, open-mindedness, etc. can help solve sexism and a lot of other internal issues. While certainly not the only factors, a person's environment, community, and way of life can effect them and make them believe that way is normal and adapt to it. However, it's such a broad issue with such a broad range of causes that it can't be solved by simply telling them to stop or calling them out on it.

Minigunner wrote:
armyman12345 wrote:To be fair, a lotta times in gaming communities, girls reveal their genders for money and attention.


To be fair, a lotta times in gaming communities, guys give money and attention to girls who reveal their genders in some (at least subconscious) hopes of getting love/nudes/laid. Some girls just use that as an opportunity.

That's the same thing. armyman is just playing devil's advocate. While not common, it helps bring to light the issue is more complex than it can appear to be.
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Re: "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Postby Scripten » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:40 am

With regard to "mansplaining", it's not necessarily steeped in conscious dismissal of women. (Nor is it a "Tumblr-ism", whatever that's supposed to mean.) It's a widespread problem where men will explain subjects to women who know those subjects significantly better. A good example is, when an astronaut, who was currently in space, tweeted about "spontaneous combustion" due to pressure changes, a number of random dudes just had to explain to her the science behind the phenomenon she was talking about.

I see it every day at work as a software engineer, too. It's not just online, by any stretch of the imagination. A friend of mine, who is very smart and is working full time while pursuing her Master's in CS, is talked down to daily both by her manager and by several of her coworkers, despite most of them having less experience. (Her manager hasn't been technical in roughly a *decade*.)
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