Zombieguy's Confession

[MrJohnny]

In 2010, I made made an account on this very form under the name of "Zombieguy." I was obsessed with zombies at the time, so I conjured up a username that included the letter "z" and had at least two syllables. I used this account for about two or three years before I began to feel more self conscious than usual. I've always been a sensitive person... I cave easily, I'm a pretty good "yes man," and I'm very much against disputes. I do everything I can to avoid them. I'm very much against talking as well. I have this rule where I never discuss my problems or insecurities with anyone. I think it's a pride thing; or it might just be because the thought of opening up to someone makes my stomach turn. If there's ever a list of things that I'm not, I'm pretty sure "talker" will be at the top. I guess I figure if I don't speak, then I won't say something silly or give anyone a reason to point fingers at me. After a while, I began to feel progressively less inclined to post on the ZDoom forums because of this ailment. Then, one day, as I was miserably scrolling through all of my silly, stupid-sounding posts, I decided to just leave. I needed a break; I figured I could just make a new account later, and start all over. I could forge a new persona - a likable, much less awkward one! So, a few months later, that's what I did.

There I was, in 2013... back at the registration page. I had to think of a cool, original name. Not something lame and generic like Zombieguy. I went with Ctrl+Alt+Destroy. It was exactly what I was looking for. It was clever, cool-sounding, and original. The perfect 3-hit combo. I made a bit more progress this time around. I actually contributed some sbarinfo, decorate, and even some sprites for folks. I became much more involved with the community. It was smooth sailing for a while... but again, one day, after looking over my old posts, thinking about how silly they were and what people might have thought about them, and how my dumb-sounding comments might have affected my reputation on the forums, I decided to just leave. I needed a break - again. After a while, I decided to give it another whirl. It was 2016, and my third time at the registration page - and I needed yet another new username. I felt like I was trying too hard when I chose Ctrl+Alt+Destroy last time. So I decided to go with something simple and more laid back. Maybe a bit humorous. It could be a normal, everyday word, even. Just as long as it didn't sound pretentious or too silly. I decided to go with "Inchworm." It felt right; it wasn't elaborate or pretentious - just simple. Maybe a little humorous. Inchworm was definitely not the comeback I was hoping for. I didn't post much, I didn't sprite or type for folks... the only involvement I had was in the "(File)Size Matters" contest instigated by wildweasel. For the third time, disappointed in myself, I looked over my old posts, and just thought, "I'm done." I decided not to return to the forums until I had made something truly worth showing off. A project that was mine and mine alone. Something to serve as a solid foundation for my future persona.

That same year, in 2016, I decided that my project was finished. It was time to head back to the forums, and think of another username. I didn't really care as much about usernames on my fourth try. "Pompous" and "Seed" were funny words, so I put 'em together and presto - a new username. And so, with my new persona, I finally released my humble project, "Nature's Call." It's nothing fancy, really. Just a small, goofy little gameplay mod. For me though, seeing it through to the end was an enormous accomplishment. I actually made and publicly released a fully functional, original project. At first, I was hesitant to even release it due to the nature of the thing. I mean, the player can literally urinate/defecate on demons at their own discretion. How would the community respond to something like that? It was a scary thought. When I finally decided to release it, I felt like I was beginning to crawl out of my shell. Yet, here I am in 2018 and I feel as self-conscious as ever. I think I probably released Nature's Call not because I felt any less insecure, but because I was tired of being idle. I had to put something out there, even if it killed me. No matter what people said, I had to release it. I'm glad I did; I had fun making it, and it's something I'm genuinely proud of. I love this community, I've just had trouble finding my place in all of this. On several occasions, I asked myself why I even bothered to return to these forums time and time again. I mean, just why bother? This might sound obvious, but recently, I realized it's because I wanted to be a part of this forum. However, I can't be a part of this forum if I'm constantly switching accounts. I want to be a part of this awesome community, not just a wandering misfit always trying to fit in. This long post is one of the many steps I must take in order to come to terms with myself. I no longer feel comfortable switching usernames and so desperately trying to hide who I am. It gets pretty exhausting after a while. So there you have it, folks. Zombieguy, Ctrl+Alt+Destroy, and Inchworm are all my previous usernames. Fourth time is a charm though. I don't plan on switching again, which is exactly why I'm writing this. This entire post is just me publicly acknowledging who I am, and all of my previous usernames. Hello folks of the internet, I'm Pompous Seed, formerly known as Zombieguy, Ctrl+Alt+Destroy, and Inchworm... and I hope you'll be kind enough to deal with my silly shenanigans. Oh yeah, and thanks for reading!

[Dr_Cosmobyte]

You, as many guys and girls around here, are a important part of the community. Every little contribution counts. Hell, you did the animated Excalibat 2013 sprites! That thing is, hands down, a piece of pixel art right there. Professional stuff.

Nature's Call got into IcarusLiv3s and got famous, for being a creative and fun mod.

So, if you look back, you can also see that your work changed the forums. It's really nice to see you're feeling well with it.

[MrJohnny]

Ah, those sprites where nothing on my part. Zirron was the star artist. I only posted a rough concept, and then myself, zirron and Uboa (I don't think there was anyone else) just started rolling with it. Either way though, thanks for stopping by.

[Naniyue]

You are in the company of many misfits and societal mischief-makers here. Relax, and enjoy your stay!