Push-up and pull-ups

[Apeirogon]

How to train/teach make one-handed push-up and pull-ups?

Yes in all internet exist countless instruction/books/video/etc. of how deal this.
But all them, in general, have structure like "become strong enough to make twenty vanila push-up/pull-ups in moderate temp, and then SUDDENLY you can make one rude one-handed push-up/pull-ups with wriggles like a worm at the hook". But even when i can make clear very slow vanila push-up/pull-ups I CANT make even half one-handed push-up/pull-ups even with jumping.

Maybe I do somethung wrong? Is there are here an unrecognized olympian gymnast who can do, and teach how to do, this exercises?

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I want it is for good health, strong body, clear mind and steel will when time has come...or when i become wise, or not so wise, old man show off before girls and friends "I can do this and you not deal with it "
Weight lifting has critical flaw, barbell with its "pancake" rarely wallowing at the street at our time.
And for pull-ups you need more or less horizontal rod/tree branch/etc. And for push-ups just bare flat ground. And did you see something flat in the last five minutes?

[DoomRater]

How about add weight to your two handed variation? You can strap weight to your body, put a metal chain on your shoulders, ankle weights, whatever you can find- duct tape some plates to yourself if you have to.

[Apeirogon]

I can make 8-10 push-ups with ~50 kg/110 pound at my back, and still no.

[DoomRater]

That doesn't sound like proficiency. What percentage of your own body weight is that? Personally I wouldn't even be attempting these one handed variations myself because there's no way I can reach even 30 reps. I'm just happy I can get about 8 pull ups at all.

[Apeirogon]

~~ 70%

Personally I wouldn't even be attempting these one handed variations myself because there's no way I can reach even 30 reps

I too though "Maybe if I can make 50 push-ups, I can make at least one one handed push-up?". But only I teach its how to make 50 push-ups in 5 minutes. So quantity is not a key,zerg rush works only in starcraft.

[DoomRater]

There are people who do HUNDREDS of pushups a day. Not 50, not 100, 500. That's what I would call proficency. You need to be mad strong in order to do these movements with one arm without hurting yourself.

[Reactor]

This doesn't really work at girls, and if it does, they'll only want you as a friend!
FRIEND-ZONED!!!
All that hard work...

[wildweasel]

This doesn't really work at girls, and if it does, they'll only want you as a friend!
FRIEND-ZONED!!!
All that hard work...

I never really understood the belief of "the friend zone" being a dead end. Isn't being a friend supposed to be a gateway to being more than a friend? (Not that I'm really in a position to personally disprove either one of these...)

[edit] not to mention this is severely off topic and not at all the information the OP is seeking

[DoomRater]

The real risk of all that hard work is to attempt the one handed variations before you're ready and end up injuring yourself doing them. Granted it's entirely possible to injure yourself just doing pull ups past what you're able to instead of opting for the inverted pushup variation to build yourself up to that point. But it's also possible to injure yourself punching a heavy bag as hard as you can WITH hands wrapped AND gloved with 16 oz, and I don't just mean hyperextension because the bag was further away than you thought. I mean things like making your wrist bones ache or in an extreme case tearing the skin off your knuckles (though admittedly I've never been able to achieve this with both wraps and gloves.... not that I'd want to)

[Reactor]

Well...I er...this is a tough subject, since understanding girls and their needs is very akin to install Windows 10 blindfolded. We keep trying and trying, and sometimes we succeed. Girls tend to be very similar to each other, ye, but their cognizance may vary highly from person to person.
The "friendzone" is one of such subjects. As far as my experiences go, girls mostly friendzone guys, who they trust and like, but don't really admire. They accept their sympathy, opinions, help, but no really amatory stuff. They like them sometimes to be around them, but do not require their frequent or even constant presence. A typical turning-down phrase is "I think we could be (just) friends", or "you deserve a better girl than me". Familiar? If I had a dime for every such occassion, I could buy the whole EA from pocket, and apply you as a project manager As I noticed most of the time, the friendzone is sort of a "prison", kind of a non-verbal prohibition of a romantic realitionship with those certain guys.

On the other hand, if a girl friendzones a guy, there is still a slight chance for a "friends with benefits" realitionship. It's pretty rare - less than 25% of friendzoned boys will get the opportunity for this - but it happens when it happens, and in these cases, sympathy and helpfulness can really pay off. I had three notable cases for this, once I gained the girl's trust. The first girl wanted to take sweet revenge on her boyfriend who cheated on her. The second girl was not particularly fond of romantic realitionships, he had little to no trust in boys, but we had several common interests (Red Alert 2 brought us together), and she probably desired to know whether or not am I good in something else than making good Red Alert 2 Yuri maps. The third and final one was a former classmate of mine at the University, and for some reason, she found me and my eccentric lifestyle attractive. And no, I wasn't looking for one-night stands, this was all their decision.
To sum it up, there is a chance for friendzoned boys to...um...level up, but it's pretty improbable. And once said girl falls in love with someone else, you'll get demoted again.

To stay on-topic, the answer is: yes, you can pick up girls solely with muscles, much like you can pick up girls if you look/behave like Justin Bieber. The problem is: these girls will be very shallow, they will love only your looks, and not the person who you really are. We Hungarians call them "surfacy", I know, this is not a proper English word, but still, a very clever way to describe such women. Usually, these are the girls who hang out with muscle-bound no-brainer idiots, who have nothing else of value.
Sorry for the slight derailing, unfortunately, these things connect with each other deep inside.

[Rachael]

Reactor - I'm going to break it down for you, and you're not going to like it, but it has to be said.

Girls are humans. You are human, we are human. That's it. It doesn't get more complicated than that. There is no "rules" to being a girl, and the whole "friend zone" thing is literally just that - nothing more.

I don't know where you get this idea that you are in "prison" because of it. If a girl is interested in you, she will make a move on you. If she's not interested, she's simply not interested, and I am sorry to say but there's more to life than sex and who's hot.

The way you're talking, is almost like you're entitled to have sex with every woman you meet but it's a lost opportunity because of some arbitrary thought process that she's accustomed to due to societal norms. There's maybe like... 5% truth to the lost opportunity part (if there ever even was an interest to start with) - because as they say, love conquers all, and if she wants you she'll get the fuck over it.

I honestly don't know the "right" way of approaching women - I can tell you there's ten thousand wrong ways to go about it, though, and I deal with that every single day. It's a problem for me, because I have to reject guys I am not interested in, and that's a painful process. Sometimes I just do it kind of silently and hope they get the hint - most of the time it works.

But a "friend zone" is just that - it's a lack of interest, nothing more. You're not interested in every girl you meet - let's be real. The same happens for us.

Girls aren't that complicated. A girl is no more of a mystery than a guy, really, and it's all about us being different people, not different genders.

[Apeirogon]

There are people who do HUNDREDS of pushups a day. Not 50, not 100, 500. That's what I would call proficency. You need to be mad strong in order to do these movements with one arm without hurting yourself.

Here first video from google for request "one handed push-up"

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This guy dont look like hercules in they better years. And I try follow guide from this, and other, from first page of google, video almost 1.5 years and nothing.

This doesn't really work at girls, and if it does, they'll only want you as a friend!
FRIEND-ZONED!!!
All that hard work...

MY DANT BELIVE U!!! U AL LIE!!11ONEONE

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No serious, you dont know how make any relationship with girls, and guys?
Protip: shoot at cyberdemon until it dies
You need a_chase to you aaptr_target, then, if (getdistance(true, aaptr_target) <= 20 ) {open you mouth and say "Hi, I see you %_something about aaptr_target_%, and I love it/it make me think that on whole earth stil exist man/woman who stil, in our 21 century, do %_stuff_%. Lets get acquainted, my name is %_username_%.";
Then if(get acquainted == true) {develop conversation;}
else if (get acquainted == false) {a_cleartarget; a_changeflag("lookallaround", true); returne state("idle");}
return state("")}

I mean, all that big muscles, golden chain at neck, bugatti veyron under you window, popularity, a bunch of money in your pocket, powerfull, in all conceivable meanings of this word, relatives, won't give you relationship.
Why? Because relationship is product of social skills, like conversation skill, manners, behavior, facial expressions, something other, etc. Plus, you must deal with fact that you you can not like to all women at earth.

And friend zone mostly happens when you think "Mein gott, this girl is goddess... I cant even think about take her hand... what a cruel world...", meanwhile when you "goddess"...lets say does such things for which they are deprived of their status of goddess. But only if they dont goddess of love, she can.
Why I write wall of text, when all guy already answer to you? Cause I can, thats why.
So pls stop this. I dont want create another topic for my problem if this sink in politics.

Now back to our worldly affairs.

The real risk of all that hard work is to attempt the one handed variations before you're ready and end up injuring yourself doing them. Granted it's entirely possible to injure yourself just doing pull ups past what you're able to instead of opting for the inverted pushup variation to build yourself up to that point. But it's also possible to injure yourself punching a heavy bag as hard as you can WITH hands wrapped AND gloved with 16 oz, and I don't just mean hyperextension because the bag was further away than you thought. I mean things like making your wrist bones ache or in an extreme case tearing the skin off your knuckles (though admittedly I've never been able to achieve this with both wraps and gloves.... not that I'd want to)

Its depends on a person. I know guy who contrived break his hand when do regular pull-up at regular horizontal bar.
And based on my experience, you cant injured when do bodyweight exercises. Only if you ended retard concussed by you own life, or if the stars so stood up.
Weight lifting is another story. If you cant make one handed push-up, you cant do it. But if you can pickup 100 kg, you can pickup 102-104-108, which lead to microcrack in bones/tendons-break of bones from overloading-doctor say "I fear you must wiggle to weight lifting/victory in mister olimpia competition". Psychology and pride as is...

[DoomRater]

The guys I knew doing hundreds of push ups to reach proficiency didn't look like Arnold Schwarzenegger either. But they could fight. Of course if you're still struggling to correctly perform it even though a video of someone telling you it's easier than putting in tons of hard work says otherwise, well, what are you going to continue to believe?

One handed push ups DO put damaging strain on supporting muscles. Rip those and you won't be doing much of anything until it heals. Not to mention the tendons at the elbows... Which is far worse. Damage THAT, and you'll have issues the rest of your life.

[Apeirogon]

Where I write "Guys, I want to be a superman, but dont want to do heavy physical and psychological exercises. What I must injection with syringe to become a demigod?"?
I already try make this ~4 years and lack of result does me sad and think that I do something wrong.

Yes, I know about rotator cuff and other hand kinetics/anatomy. 4 years of searching did not fail.

[DoomRater]

It is indeed possible you are doing something wrong. It may also be possible you are simply not applying as much effort as you think you are. But here's the thing- from where I sit I cannot know which is possibly true! I can only suggest things you may or may not have tried, and something you need to realize about one handed exercises is you pretty much have to have super strength to properly do them, along with impeccable technique.