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RexS: (in response to the last post on the last page, I didn't want to quote the whole thing) -
I know how that feels. To wake up every day, to have the love of your life right next to you. I know how your life changes to revolve around them, much like the way you say it.
I also quite understand the whole "Why the fuck am I here?" thing. Believe me, I've gone through that bit before, and though I cannot fully understand how you are feeling, I can definitely say some individual parts of it are reflective of my past experiences.
Let's make this clear though: All of my ex's are still alive, so I do not know what it's like to lose a loved one through death. I am not trying to pretend to know, either.
But I can't say this without sounding like a heartless asshole. Bear in mind, I do say this with all the love and sympathy in the world, and with all the understanding I can muster for what you're going through. But you are alive because of you.
If you want to call it a religious intervention, so be it. God has other plans for you. You weren't supposed to vanish away with your fiancee - you were kept on this Earth for another purpose. These things may often be coincidences, but when it comes even from my own spiritual views, even I will acknowledge that I fully believe it goes a little further than that.
Who knows what that purpose is. Maybe it's to make a difference in some young person's life. Maybe you are to save another person from suffering a similar fate. Nevertheless, your continued presence has some importance, and it is only when you are ready that you will understand what it is.
That's not to say your fiancee's death isn't tragic. It was, and it's something that I believe never should've happened. But you were saved. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I do believe there was a reason for that. To put it another way - "it is not yet your time."
