Bad games to avoid...

[Quadruplesword]

Metroid Other M. One might see this as an easy target, and one might be right. Let me put it to you this way: This game was so bad, it put the entire Metroid series into a seven year long coma (Federation Force doesn't count). It wasn't until this year the series finally recovered from the Other M hangover and got a new game.

IMO the gameplay was good for a 3d metroid game, the story was downright awful though.
While the "mother may I" with the items was pretty bad the combat was pretty good once you got the hand of it.
I will give samus returns the credit of being a revitalizing game, the difficulty curve and lack of feeling like any previous 2d metroid games (super, ZM, to a lesser extent fusion) with the lack of sequence breaking, it was good.
Although there are far worse series droughts than metroid at this point that may never be remedied, M:oM still did it's job for me in terms of a metroid game. Far better than Metroid prime 3 and the dumb amount of motion gimmicks it had.

Which is fine, I'm not saying you're wrong for enjoying your time with Other M (and I will agree with you that the needless motion gimmicks in MP3 do negatively color my opinion of that game, even if it is otherwise fine). But no other game in the Metroid series has been as polarizing or as divisive as Other M. Like I said, it took seven years for Nintendo to get over the Other M hangover.

[MetroidJunkie]

Even beyond the bad writing, you've got things like extreme linearity, slow over the shoulder moments, and pixel hunts that just bog down the gameplay. You can at least skip the cutscenes if you load up a save that's already beaten the game once but the rest of the flaws can't be skipped so easily.

[Reactor]

Calvino Noir

This is not a BAD game as it is, but compared to what it should have been, it is bad, so I decided I classify this one under "bad games".

Well, well, well...since the towering success of Limbo in 2011, it was to be expected that many less talented developers will try to feed on its fame, and develop dark-gothic-steampunk-cyberpunk-themed games on their own. Sometimes these offsprings weren't simply inspired by Limbo, they were blatant ripoffs, even directly re-using elements from Limbo. This is all peaches and cream, until the game they develop is actually fine. We all know one such game: Monochroma from Nowhere Studios, Turkey. Yesh, it was a Limbo-ripoff, but as I said, a quality one, and graphically it even surmounded Limbo.
And what about this one?

Calvino Noir is a Swedish game (supposedly), and since nordic folks are well known of their artistic talents regarding of dark-gothic stuff, you might expect this game to be good. Much like its exemplar, Calvino Noir is a two-dimensional dark-gothic adventure game with a pinch of industrial and gangworld touch, spiced up with steampunk and vintage feeling. That's perfectly fine. As opposed to taking the role of lonely children or forsaken little boys everyone hates, you take the role of Wilt, a hard-hearted criminal mercenary, sort of a spy. We get to follow his adventure in the gangland, amongst criminals, and help him do a job for a woman named Siska. Side-scroller GTA-style, love it. Graphics are essentially follow the Limbo-style as well: black and white - though you could say it uses black and white because the game takes place around 1930, so it's genuinely black and white without the intention of ripping off Limbo, I'm not sure about this. Background, animations and surfaces are detailed and the light effects are also fine, though Monochroma has better ones IMHO. I found no glitches or anything, so I guess I might say graphics are OK.

So then, what are those horrible things in the game? Well, for a starter, the controls. Some idiot thought it'd be an "awsum" idea to make it a point-and-click adventure as opposed to using the arrows, like every sane game developer would program a 2D game. You have to CLICK your way around the screen, when you want to move somewhere, open a door, pick up an item, talk to someone and so on. Guess the reason for this was the touchscreen-concept of many smartphones, and the developers were a bunch of lazy bastards when they ported this thing to PC..."arrow controls? Come on, that's the thing of the past! Point and click, now THAT's the way of the future...and we'll have less work to do with that." To some extent, this is useful, when you don't need to navigate Wilt up to a multistorey house manually, just point to the highest floor, and he'll go up by himself. However, when you need to pick up something, open a door, or fight enemies, it'll get really annoying and is also buggy several times - the game just doesn't recognize when you click on the "pick up" or "fight" icon. I was killed countless times by this. Just have a damn "ATTACK" button, geez, it's rocket science???

Second big problem is that you don't have any weapons, and you can't collect any. Yep. Enemies greatly outnumber you, each one has a pistol, and as you can expect,they kill you in one hit. You, however, have only bare fists, and have to sneak up on people or quickly run them down (each enemy has a tiny "spook-o-meter" which signifies how long it takes to reach for his gun and shoot you). Logic suggests that once you kill an armed enemy, you can collect his gun - since you can collect coins, files, keys, it makes sense, right? Well...no. No guns for ya, nananananana! Fight every guard with your fists! After the 3rd chapter, you'll be fed up with this. Remember - one hit, and you're dead. And since the game is very capricious when accepting your mouse clicks, chances that you'll be shot to death regardless whether or not you clicked on the "fight" icon quickly enough.
So, to balance this, you need to sneak up on guards, turning off your flashlight, disable running, or hiding behind objects. This replaces the logical puzzles and riddles from Limbo and Monochroma, as this game doesn't have these. Hiding behind object is a gamble - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If a guard corners you at a dead end, you're pretty much screwed, regardless if you hide or not. I know this is not Doom, where you grab a chaingun and just mince everybody comes in your way, but using a pistol here and there would still be a great addition. There are countless games which have stealth levels AND weapons, and they're much more enjoyable than this.

Third problem is, there are collectibles - coins - which you can see if you have your flashlight on. Each chapter has 20 coins hidden here and there, much like Limbo has those white shell-things and Monochroma has the red flowers. The interesting thing is, coins are supposedly can be used for something here, but they don't seem to have any effect. Not to mention that due to programming errors, some chapters have coins which cannot be obtained, no matter what. A classic example of developers not testing their work before releasing it to the public. That's assy.

In conclusion, I'd say Calvino Noir is a good effort, and a really good attempt in trying to create a grown man's Limbo with a little GTA-feeling, but the execution is far from perfect, and numerous gameplay flaws were left in. Beta testers were on vacation I presume. If you're in for a challenging dark game which requires a lot of patience, you might consider giving it a try, but otherwise...well...sorry to say it, but I don't recommend it.

[Dr_Cosmobyte]

I love coming back to this thread and reading all the rage. Makes me laugh (also, thanks for the one who mentioned Resistance 2, i was about to buy a used copy of that game)!

If "Games you played along your childhood, but you know they suck, still you love them" count,

Let's go;

SPAWN: The Eternal (PSX)

Even if you like the 90's cheesy comic like i do, better stay away from this one. It's a 3D Action plataform game which suddenly can turn into a (bad) Tekken-styled fighting game. After the fight is over, life goes on and you must keep on breaking awful crate models to find even uglier keys.

I really love the ambience tracks and nostalgic memories from this game. But, i REALLY know how bad it is. I must be one of the few who enjoy it, even with things as:

• Clunky and unresponsive controls. You are always adjusting spawn sideways because the horrible movement limitation. Looking from the outside, it's like he got out for some jogging and forgot something inside his house, now he's turning back to go get it. ALL THE TIME.
• Lack of better use for buttons (There's a control key for pressing levers/switches/buttons! Instead of a "get close to the damn switch and press the ~ key", like most games, he can do that anywhere. Seriously, pure laziness).
• Bad, BAD AI
• No in-game tutorials as to how to fight or even using your evil hellish powers. Although some are as simple as a Hadouken, using your cloak is next to IMPOSSIBLE.
• Flat, dead, bad drawn textures. Sometimes (mainly the sewers, for me) it looks more like a grafitti rather than pipes.
• Bad physics. You barely move an ATOM when jumping. it's like a voxel going up and down by some holy force.
• You travel time, apparently (that's not REALLY explained). You start in a metro, go to a dead city and BAM, Dark fantasy medieval castles, werewolves and shit. After a while, cities again-TRIBAL JUNGLE theme. Pot can harm your brain, kids.
• Bad quality sounds for a PSX game. Except the music. But even then, it gets repetitive after a while.
• Health recovering. Fights don't give you any to compensate (say, traps ahead in the level), no medikits, and the only fast way you have to recover is by pressing L1+L2. It drains from your generic ectoplasmic power, but it can only be recovered with spheres around levels. They are rare and heal your mana bar next to none. After the bar is gone, good luck filling it again. No health recovery for you, buddy. AT LEAST, if your enemy/boss let you, you can recover health in the middle of a fight.

That's it for today. thanks for reading.

[Reactor]

Hahaha! Genius review, GAA I never had any console in my life, but I could surely feel your pain when reading your review! Heh, I can see you enjoyed my review about Calvino Noir, and could feel the rage, even though I wasn't really mad at the game, just...well...disappointed. It's just sad that certain developers are so dumb that they see a black and white dark-gothic game had worldwide success in 2011, they automatically think that making a very similar game will be just as, or even more successful. Kinda like they say "oh, Limbo? Thawwuz nuthin', lookee HERE, kidz, THAT's how it's done!", even if they know that their product is not even half as good as that particular game was...
I wish Eruanna would be here, she could probably explain how these things work.

[Dr_Cosmobyte]

heheh. Thanks. I didn't had the original Spawn game, neither the original manual, so, inb4 people shout "the manual had it explained, idiot".

Just to put some of my rage moments out, here are some other collection of deceptions i had. This one was already mentioned on the thread, but this is my vision of it.

Aliens: Colonial marines (PS3)

I knew it was bad. Every friend told me it was bad. But i never had the other Alien games (not even the PSX Alien Trilogy), so i got late to the Alien party. But this particular one was just something around $5 bucks in a used game store. Untouched. With the plastic, dlc folder papers, manual and all stuff. Probably a leftover from a big demand.

So i bought it. My thoughts as a Fresh Blood in the Alien game series:

I really thought this was going to be a generic CoD game, few weapons, few uses and too much scripted events. I'd say i was partially surprised. Good things first:

• Weapon upgrade system is very versatile and keeps the player motivated, as rewards come.
• Not everything in the game is bound by cinematics and boring gameplay. Sometimes you just get there and there's shit happening.
• Nice ambient for a shootout. Lots of covers and good supply of ammo.
• The environiment is dark when it needs to be and lighter and it needs too. No predominance or wrong timing, i gotta give 'em that.
• Good dosing of easter eggs for die hard fans. Not my case, but pleases me.
  
  Now the other side...
• If those are the aliens that are going to take Earth, i am really not worried. Those must be the dumbest types i've ever seen. They glitch scenarios A WHOLE LOT.
  The game formulae goes right when few enemies come from dark areas or vents in open spaces. Otherwise, they just go apeshit, bugging everything with their bad AI and don't mind clashing walls to get you.
• Weapon system is good, yes. The damage, however, don't. Sometimes i just LAY DOWN the bullets and they don't die. Even shotgun blasts don't feel so powerful. My opinion, really.
• I wasn't even trying to get achievments, but in less of half an hour, i had 10% of them done.
• Your partners don't help that much. You'd blaze through the game alone, if that was possible. Surely it would be creepier as well.
• There's Aliens: Isolation, and many people prefered to forget this one. Pretty sad for a game that had potential.

If i manage to write another one, will be in another post.

[Reactor]

Speaking of Aliens games, the original Aliens vs. Predator (PC) wasn't THAT much better either. The Marine and Predator campaigns were indeed very good and enjoyable, aside several smaller glitches, and the overly too dark levels...but the Alien campaign was an unbearable, dreadful, awful piece of shit.

- First of all, you can play only as a grown-up drone Alien. If you remember the original movies, one of the things that made the Alien so frightening and unstoppable was that it was constantly changing and maturing into different forms. Eggs > facehugger > chestburster > adult Alien. Aliens vs. Predator doesn't feature ANY of these life stages playable, except the adult Alien. Now I know that it'd be pretty boring to play as an alien egg, but a face hugger or chestburster level would have been truly awesome. Chestbursters don't even appear in the whole game, which was also a huge disappointment.

- Aliens are ridiculously fragile in the game. You remember the novel or the movie, where the Alien was almost unstoppable, and could even happily survive the vacuum of space? Well, in this game, it's the polar opposite. You can even kill adult Aliens with a damn pistol or riflebutt, and if you play as an Alien, consequently, you can be killed by a damn pistol or riflebutt! Was this some kind of joke???

- The Alien can only regenerate health when hacking apart living beings (on Director's Cut, you can ONLY regain health if you bite enemies' heads off with inner jaws) - which is simply bullshit. AFAIK, Aliens (even facehuggers) could spontaneously regenerate and regain their health in mere minutes. This should have been the game which features auto-regeneration of health, not the generic-ass boring WWII shooters.

- The Alien has melee attacks only, however, it could spit acid on Alien 3.

- Wall climbing is damn buggy, and why does it require you to HOLD a button to do it? Why can't the Alien just scale the walls and ceilings like walking on the floor?

- Certain levels lavish endless amounts of enemies, and there are also several places Sudden Death Syndrome during the campaign.

- You can't play as Predaliens, Praetorians or Xenomorph Queen either.

- What was that dumb concept about a Xenomorph TEMPLE and shrine and stuff? When this kind of nonsense was featured in the novels or the movies?

Main thing is, the Aliens vs. Predator game was very good, but the Alien campaign was simply a half-ass piss poor attempt which literally made a joke out of the Xenomorph. This was a huge disappointment for me back then.

[Sgt Nate V]

Sonic 1 isn't so hot compared to the sequels.
The special stages are very hard to beat and most of the time you will end up hurling towards the goal balls.
Hope you don't lose all your 50+ rings before you beat the act.
Among other things.

[DoomRater]

Have we really run out of bad games that should be avoided already?

[Reactor]

Have we really run out of bad games that should be avoided already?

That's some wishful thinking, fam Don't you worry - I have my new rig now, it's brutal as shit, and (hopefully) will run all kinds of games I desire to test. I'm trembling already when I think about what monstrousities await me...

[NeuralStunner]

How about this "DOOM"? Obvious Alien knockoff. Cheesy monsters, grungy texture work, nonsensical level stru*Dragged off the stage*

[jdredalert]

.

Aliens: Colonial marines (PS3)

As i die hard Aliens fan, i agree with every single word on your post. Colonial Marines could have been awesome, but was plagued with bad design choices and false marketing. It's a shame, because it had potential to be one of the best Alien games ever, but turned out as a failure. I can say that i had fun with it (and i bought it cheaper than a cheeseburger on a Steam sale, most for Sprite ripping purposes than anything) and that's my guilty pleasure, but still i can't defend this game much.

And yes, most weapons feels weak, lots of weapons are redundant and there's only two small sessions with the SmartGun. You can go from start to finish with only pulse rifle and shotgun if you want, the other guns aren't too interesting in my opinion (and the ones that are interesting are DLC content).

[Dr_Cosmobyte]

Have we really run out of bad games that should be avoided already?

NAH.

Evil Dead: Hail to the King (PSX and Sega Saturn)

Now, i might be stepping on eggs here, as many Doom fans are probably connected to the famous series that influentiated a lot of things, Doom included, and some might get offended with the fact this is one of the early representations of the series in a game. But let me tell you my experience on that.

When i discovered there was a Evil Dead game, i really wanted to play it, and even more because i loved the first three Resident Evil games, both PSX Dino Crisis and Alone in the Dark (which is not by Capcom, but still plays similar with RE).

And then i made it. Game in the console, set options and stuff, new game, and...

"The horror, the horror" - Marlon Brando, Apocalypse now, 1979.

Seriously now. Suppose you see somebody playing a nice Mario clone, and he/she hands you the controller, wouldn't your first actions be hold Y to run and press B to jump?

That's what i did with this game. And it was NOTHING like Resident Evil.

I can't say once you "LEARN "(i used "" because the correct term would be RE-EDUCATE yourself, since you always tend to press the already memorized commands from the Capcom's franchise) the game doesn't play well. The moving around is very Resident, the graphics are very Resident, the inventory, puzzles, everything. BUT THE DAMN CONTROLS ruin it almost to the point this is not worth playing.

"Bah, you're only ranting about the controls. Get a goddamn JoyToKey and be happy". You probably are right. But there is more:

• Scarce resources. You start low budget and ammo is rare. "Hey, you have your chainsaw arm! It should help saving ammo" NOPE
  
  It uses a almost even rarer (in the beginning) fuel ammo that gets consumed faster than a old Dodge would do, your attacks don't kill shit, and using the chainsaw turned off (which i remember it being a possibility) is laughable. It's barely impossible to kill enemies using the melee and not getting hurt.
• Difficulty: Game is hard. Period. You have to be a veteran in the RE universe to know how fucked you are.
• Enemies respawn. And just like it ain't enough, they are always repeating the same sounds over and over and over and over. JOIN US, JOIN US, JOIN US, JOIN US, JOIN US!
• Last thing: Camera positioning. Pre-renderized graphics tend to be a fixed vision, but sometimes, maybe as an art team decision, they need to show up the "realistic" scenarios and you almost CAN'T SEE Ash. It sometimes takes a while to get used.

I can't say it was a game to especially AVOID, but it kills every trace of inner happiness you have if you never played it and like Resident Evil games.

[skyrish10]

Aliens: Colonial marines (PS3)

I knew it was bad. Every friend told me it was bad. But i never had the other Alien games (not even the PSX Alien Trilogy), so i got late to the Alien party. But this particular one was just something around $5 bucks in a used game store. Untouched. With the plastic, dlc folder papers, manual and all stuff. Probably a leftover from a big demand.

So i bought it. My thoughts as a Fresh Blood in the Alien game series:

I really thought this was going to be a generic CoD game, few weapons, few uses and too much scripted events. I'd say i was partially surprised. Good things first:

• Weapon upgrade system is very versatile and keeps the player motivated, as rewards come.
• Not everything in the game is bound by cinematics and boring gameplay. Sometimes you just get there and there's shit happening.
• Nice ambient for a shootout. Lots of covers and good supply of ammo.
• The environiment is dark when it needs to be and lighter and it needs too. No predominance or wrong timing, i gotta give 'em that.
• Good dosing of easter eggs for die hard fans. Not my case, but pleases me.
  
  Now the other side...
• If those are the aliens that are going to take Earth, i am really not worried. Those must be the dumbest types i've ever seen. They glitch scenarios A WHOLE LOT.
  The game formulae goes right when few enemies come from dark areas or vents in open spaces. Otherwise, they just go apeshit, bugging everything with their bad AI and don't mind clashing walls to get you.
• Weapon system is good, yes. The damage, however, don't. Sometimes i just LAY DOWN the bullets and they don't die. Even shotgun blasts don't feel so powerful. My opinion, really.
• I wasn't even trying to get achievments, but in less of half an hour, i had 10% of them done.
• Your partners don't help that much. You'd blaze through the game alone, if that was possible. Surely it would be creepier as well.
• There's Aliens: Isolation, and many people prefered to forget this one. Pretty sad for a game that had potential.

If i manage to write another one, will be in another post.

Hey, that game was also available on the PC and Xbox 360, oh btw in add insult to injury, false advertising is also in the promo materials of the game

[skyrish10]

Here's another new bad game to avoid.

Star Wars Battlefront II (the 2017 EA one, not the one made by Pandemic and Lucasarts), because of the microtransactions and loot boxes.